भारत में लड़कियों को हमेशा आंका और दोषी ठहराया जाता है। “मुझे इस तरह की लड़की पसंद नहीं है, वह लड़की गलत है”। “मेरे बेटों को फसाया”, “उसने मेरे भाई को बदल दिया”.
एक दिन घर में मेहर ने अपने कुछ ऑफिस में काम करने वाले और दोस्तो को बुलाया था। अचानक से उसकी ननद आयी और सबके सामने मेहर को भला बुरा बोलने लगी। मेहर की एक दोस्त ने आगे बढ़कर समझाने की कोशिश की तो बात और बढ़ गई।
इस बीच मेहर का पति घर आया और उसने सबकुछ अपनी आंखो से देखा। मेहर के पति आशीष ने अपनी बहन को रोकने की कोशश की तो बहन ने इल्ज़ाम लगा दिया कि भाई एक पराई लड़की का साथ दे रहा है और दूसरो के सामने अपने परिवार वाले को जलील कर रहा है।
बात इतनी बढ़ गई कि घर के दूसरे लोगो को रोकना पड़ा।
सभा बैठी सास की और सास ने अपनी बेटी को बिना सुने ही बेकसूर बता दिया।
मेहर पर इल्ज़ाम लगाते हुए बोली कि तुमको बर्दास्त कर लेना चाहिए।
कुछ दिन बाद , तलाकशुदा मौसी मिलने घर आई वत सावित्री व्रत के उपलक्ष में आते ही पहले एक व्यंग्यात्मक लहजे में टिप्पणी की अपनी बहन से “मैंने सुना है कि आपकी बहू जहाँ भी जाती है, सिंदूर लगाती है”।
उस चाची को जवाब देने का मन किया मेहर का “आप दो चुटकी सिंदूर की कीमत के बारे में क्या जानते हैं, बहुत प्यार बस्ता है इसमें।” और जो मेहर को जज करने में व्यस्त था, उसने उसे एक दर्पण देने के बारे में सोचा। यह सभी चाची और रिश्तेदारों द्वारा आरोप लगाने के लिए बहुत आसान है जो एक दुल्हन को जज करने के लिए हैं। सबसे दुखद बात यह है कि यह स्वीकार करना कि लड़की अब उनके परिवार का हिस्सा है। महिलाएं एक लड़की का स्वागत करने के बजाय एक-दूसरे से नफरत करती हैं, वे सिर्फ मानसिक रूप से परेशान करने और उसका जिना दूभर करने की योजना बनाते हैं।
क्या आपको लगता है कि मेहर को बर्दास्त कर लेना चाहिए जैसे उसकी सास ने बोला या फिर आवाज़ उठानी चाहिए।
Current update: Just a few minutes before, Mumbai police arrested Ajaz Khan for allegedly uploading an objectionable Facebook post.
As per TOI, Ajaz khan has been charged under section 153A and others of the IPC for promoting enmity among communities. He was arrested for the same reason in last year, July.
He was summoned to Khar police station in connection to the comment he made on the Facebook live session.
It was said that while being live on Facebook he has made an objectionable comment over religion and tried to inflame a rift in society basis religion. This video has already been viewed by more than 20 lac viewers.
As by ABP Live, a police complaint has also been registered at Amboli Police station. An advocate, Ali Kaashif Khan has filed a written complaint against Rangoli.
Rangoli had stooped too low now for a cheap publicity stunt. The world struggling with a lot of issues due to Corona pandemic, Rangoli is busy garnering cheap publicity for herself and taking undue advantage of the situation with her malicious posts targeting one community.
Ali Kaashif Khan
Now it remains to be seen, will police arrest Rangoli or not on similar lines of the arrest of Ajaz Khan?
As we all know, Rangoli Chandel who is the sister of Kangana Ranaut whose account is suspended by Twitter. On the 15th of April, she tweeted
A Jamati died of Corona when police and doctors went to check their families they were attacked and killed, secular media,make these Mulla’s+ secular media stand in a line and shoot them dead…f****k the history they may call us Nazis who cares,life is more imp than fake image
In no time, the tweeted started getting likes and people shared and retweeted. The problem was that she didn’t share any information related to her statement.
Many of them reported against the tweet and requested Twitter India to suspend the account and Mumbai police to arrest her.
Let’s see the tweets of Farah Khan and other’s who reported about Rangoli’s statement and are now supporting Twitter India after the suspension of her account.
When Farah Khan, a jewellery designer tweeted and urged twitter India and Mumbai police to suspend the account. Rangoli did reply and indicated towards drugs.
Meanwhile, someone actually tweeted in a funny way by saying that Hrithik Roshan’s fans will be happy to know that Rangoli’s account is suspended.
Many came in support for Rangoli and now some of them want Twitter to consider people who abuse Hindu religion and Gods like Ajaz Khan. In fact, some of them even targeted Babita Phogat as well. Have a look
Do you think Ajaz Khan’s account shall be suspended?
Meanwhile, some have their own opinions:
Babita Phogat mentioned in her tweet that Coronavirus is the 2nd largest problem of India, illiterate Jamati’s ranks first.
Now people want the suspension of her account.
Meanwhile, have a look at some other recent tweets of Rangoli also it’s known that both sisters use the same account.
This morning, I read that the US commission has raised their concerns over the way India is fighting against Coronavirus.
According to a media report, a government-running hospital in Ahmedabad has separated the infected places on the basis of religion.
On this, official Spokesperson, Ministry of External Affairs, India blasted out on USCIRF to stop adding religious colour to our national goal of fighting the COVID 19 pandemic.
As if it’s a peremptory commentary on religious freedom in India is not enough, the USCIRF is now spreading misguided reports on the professional medical protocols followed to deal with spread of COVID19 in India. It must stop adding religious colour to our national goal of fighting the pandemic and distract from larger efforts. No segregation is being done in Civil hospitals on the basis of religion, as clarified by the Gujrat Government.
After reading this, I have a few questions in my mind, please answer me:
Aren’t we giving a chance to other countries, to put allegation against us?
Aren’t we responsible to fight discrimination on the basis of religion?
Should not we stop discriminating on the basis of caste and creed?
Forget about this virus, haven’t we been fighting on the basis of religion earlier? This is what we are, we have been fighting for years and while this virus is killing people, no matter their caste, creed or religion.
I am a neutral person, I neither understand politics nor interested in understanding it.
Let’s read what Head of ICMR, Dr Raman GangaKhedkar tried to tell us. I am trying to make you understand on the basis of logical and scientific factors. Not on the basis of religion and politics, let me explain what’s going on, so please read and understand:
Worry is relative phenomena if you ask me the background, the first case was on 27th January today we are exactly two and half months into the outbreak, you know the population density of our country, high level of migration that we have in our country, the proportion of people below the poverty line and staying in slums if you look at the world today, they are extremely worried how India is not showing so many cases.
If you compare our country with Italy, Spain, China at this point they were in the much worse stage. We are trying to flatten the curve. If you compare India with the US, they are economically much stronger than us.
Please understand the government has taken such a brave initiate. Our country is not as economically developed as the US, Europe, China yet more than 2.5 lac people have been tested.
The government immediately shut all businesses because life is more valuable than the economy and money.
Let’s forget about Muslims, aren’t we Hindus discriminate and abuse on the basis of caste, creed and culture? Intact state-wise basis within our own religion?
A Bengali brahmin girl fell in love with a Bihari brahmin boy. Now, read this carefully, this is a real-life story. They tried to convince their parents to earn their blessings and get married. Though the caste is same, religion is also the same now what was the issue :
They are from different states
The neighbouring States having cultural differences
Bihar was a part of Bengal once as Pakistan was a part of India but the same rivalry between the Bihari and Bengali is there.
So it became a continuous process, both the parties by that I mean the boy and the girl vs parents don’t come to the mutual track, they kept on fighting, arguing & convincing.
On the other side, the wind started to blow differently, family politics began, family members started to demean and disrespect each other. They try to break the bond by any possible means be it playing with emotions, character assassination, fabricating lies, mentioning names, body-shaming and so on.
So when both the families fight, many will sit and relax and enjoy the scene, some will take advantage out of it. People start commenting on the same way the US did.
This is how today our India is fighting, let not the rest of the world takes advantage out of it.
What’s wrong with Indians?
Is it so difficult to understand and obey the simple rules?
Team of doctors and health officials were pelted stones in different parts of our country.
Group of Nihangs, chopped off the hand of a police officer.
Recently, in Moradabad, a mob of around 150 people came and started throwing stones over team of doctors, attacked the ambulance and even attacked the cops, damaging the police car and ambulance.
However, 17 attackers have been arrested till now.
Salman Khan message to the nation-Do or Die
Salman Khan’s first interview for COVID-19 was published yesterday. He addressed the nation and raised his concerns.
You can watch the full video on YouTube:
He requested the citizens to stay at home, worship and pray at home.
Do you want to decrease the population of India starting with your own family?
He praised the doctors, bankers and all those who are working every day for us during this lockdown phase just to provide ease and support.
Let’s not fight, let’s not demean, time and again I am requesting the literates and educated mass of our society to get united and fight against Coronavirus, not with Communavirus or communa cancer.
If you are watching the situation we can see a massive gathering in Bandra, Mumbai. The Mumbai migrants have gathered in large numbers, social distancing and safety of policemen went for the toss.
The gathering of people in such large numbers, cramped in spaces and sent back to their natives such as Bihar, UP, MP and Rajasthan defeats the purpose of lockdown and increases the risk of even wider spread in states where health infrastructure is already in a dismal state. A couple of weeks back, when there was a disaster in the capital of India, Mumbai was quite silent and managed then as the state government assured to provide with food and shelter.
The labours were waiting for the lockdown to end, as it extended till 3rd of May, stranded migrants who were waiting to return home, gathered at Bandra West station demanding return to their natives. The police had to resort lathi-charge to disperse the crowd.
India Today TV spoke to Maharashtra Cabinet minister Aslam Sheikh who assured that there was no dearth of food for the migrants in the city.
Now after reading and hearing all this information, here I want to understand the actual reason for all the chaos.
Is Mumbai going to be another trigger point of mass Exodus jeopardizing the effect of lockdown?
This is not about the free meal or shelter the government is providing, their entire life has changed. They are frustrated, anxious with the uncertainties looming around them.
In my 20 years in Mumbai, I have never seen such a sight
Gopal Das| The Hindu
I read an editorial of The Hindu, where he mentioned a person from Bhagalpur, Bihar who is a construction worker attempted to board the last few trains from Mumbai station to their homes but failed. Let me, share the same with you:
Gopal is from Bhagalpur, Bihar. He said he and his friends spent nearly four hours trying to get tickets. “A few people who had clambered on to the trains fell on the platform. A little later, we heard that all the trains had been cancelled. Since there was no public transport, we walked for three hours to our room in Bandra (East) with ₹250 in our pockets. We were still hoping they would start the trains. We didn’t think it would last this long,” he said.
I was taken aback by the videos and pictures of people shoving each other to get into trains. It reminded me of “Gadar” movie wherein one scene people were flocking in numbers to save lives after independence.
Voice of the labours
The labours do not wish to continue the same way leaving isolated and separated with their families. They are now demanding a way out of it, food and shelter are not what they want now as a prime thing. What they want is to facilitate transportation to their respective towns and villages.
Maharashtra Minister, Aditya Thackeray tweeted his opinion and seemed to have blamed the central government.
The current situation at Bandra station, now dispersed or even the rioting in Surat is a result of the Union Govt not being able to take a call on parenting a way back home for migrant labour. They don’t want food or shelter, they want to go back home.
Is this the right time to play the blame game and accuse the central government?
Moreover, some ministers are also pointing that there is problem with adequate food supply as well.
What might be the actual reason for the sudden outbreak in the evening? Are some kind of panic being created or fake news spread over WhatsApp and other social media?
Police are trying to find out the real reason as our prime minister addressed the nation this morning and the gathering happened in the evening so what might be the actual reason.
My questions are:
What is the reason for Mumbai Lockdown mess?
The police was continuously requesting the migrants to maintain social distance.
According to Republic TV, people are not getting rations. A man showed a list to the camera where there is a list of 5000 people asking for rations.
Is the government not providing adequate amount of ration, food and shelter?
How did state let so many people gather?
There are all type of negative shady characters and incidents that helps the CoronaVirus to spread in mass. Minutes after this happened public figures and ministers stated that the incident is anti-public and anti-poor blaming the central government and Modi.
The social media was flooded with memes and news comparing Surat incident and Mumbai incident.
So as Arnab Goswami mentioned in his debate, was the violation planned?
Is it not about going home, it’s about food and shelter?
An activist Kavita Krishnan tweeted and compared the Bandra incident with Surat and blamed the central government. She mentioned
At Surat, then at Bandra, migrant workers gathered to ask to go home have been dispersed by force.
Gujarati tourists we’re brought from Haridwar thanks to @AmitShah, as have Indians from foreign shores, but Modi won’t even mention migrants?
As she also tweeted
Modi lied this morning claiming India screened passengers early to slow down Covid-19.
When 20 counties reported Covid-19, India only screened passengers from China, Hong-kong, that too, only thermal screening for fever, not testing them for Covid-19.
Seeing her tweet, I wanted to dig more about her. The media and the entire country is now divided between two teams. Some are Modi-supporters and the other half Anti Modi. Also to add a third team which is neutral including me, we are observing the situation, obeying the rules and seeking questions.
So after reading all her tweets and then I found an article on Google, published by The Print.
It mentioned a video that Indian media is not doing journalism. An activist Kavita Krishnan on her video mentioned about a show titled ‘Madrasa hotspots’ in India today.
Channels from Zee News, Aaj Tak to Network18 like to add the word ‘jihad’ to everything. Corona jihad or zameen jihad, love jihad, arthik jihad, and whatnot. But if anyone is waging a holy war today, it is Indian media’s jihad against Indian Muslims and Islam.
Even now, if you check the live news on YouTube citizens are fighting over hindu-muslim. Yesterday I raised a simple concern about Prime-minister’s speech asking about the motive which ended up by abusing each other. No one even bothered to understand and share their opinion it became a fight of Modi or no Modi.
Today, we might blame migrants for being impatient. We might blame anti social elements to create disturbance in society. We might blame it as a pre-planned operation by opposition. Reason could be many. But what is common that we failed to understand that there is a dissent brewing and it is not about just food and shelter. It is inherent human nature to be insecure, desperate to meet the loved ones and have a hope, which they don’t see today.
There are two sides to every coin, on one side you find a happy relationship where the married couples are happy as they are able to spend time together.
As we are in the lockdown phase, many women are stuck to their houses, everyone doesn’t seem to have a simple and happy life. Some do survive in this toxic environment, where they are abused by family members and as everyone has not much now, some become victim and a few love to create problems.
While people are avoiding the virus, they are also facing challenges by staying at home. Children are giving a hard time as they need a lot of attention and care, they love to play and get some time with friends. The lockdown has forced the kids to stay at home. They either watch television the whole day, fight with siblings, play at home or other problems.
During office con calls, I hear the voices of my seniors whole time asking their kids to be silent.
The kids don’t understand why their parents are unable to give them time when they are at home.
Women are in a greater risk of becoming a victim and similar incidents have been reported from different countries.
Based on my learnings from different articles shared by News18, The New York times, psychiatrists, views of my lawyer friends, opinions of some other friends and family members of mine, I thought of writing and sharing some useful tips:
But before I share the tips let’s first understand what are the different forms of abuse:
Abuse is not just about power and control, people do it out of the purpose to create troubles in other’s lives as well. A few families member can take advantage of this situation to create troubles in several ways, let’s see how:
Not providing shelter, driving them away from their house. Say Corona or no corona effect, we have witnessed such events where family members forced their daughter-in-law to leave the house which led her to live a miserable life.
Emotional and verbal abusing: Now as there is not much work, people have time, and instead of building and maintaining a healthy relationship a few choose to abuse others.
Family politics has increased, people have more time to call each other, gossip and play with other’s emotions leading to domestic terrorism or intimate terrorism.
I was taken aback when I read that a few are not providing masks to the women, allow them to wash hands or use sanitizer. They send the women out to buy groceries thinking that she might get infected by the virus and die.
Can you believe that? These Covidiots, don’t understand that if she contracts the same, all in her contact will also gets the same.
Many counties across the world like the UK, Brazil, Spain, China, the US, Italy, France, Australia etc are reporting a panicking rise.
As the burden of work for women has increased, rather than raising the hand to help, the perpetrators are loving to enjoy the time relaxing.
According to a sociologist who studies abusive relationships, domestic violence goes up whenever families spend more time together, such as the Christmas and summer vacations, she said.
As entire India is in a lockdown state, Neha found herself all the time in the kitchen working all the time and trying to resolve the problems or fighting with her husband.
In another house, Fatima is holding her 3 years and 11 years old child, her husband began to beat her and locked her along with the children in a room. The kids and mother are starving for three days.
Somewhere in Delhi, Twinkle’s husband got frustrated as he is unable to meet his friends, drink alcohol and enjoy outside food and releases his frustration on his wife, the poor girl was bleeding and marks were all over her body. As his husband chocked her, her neck was in pain.
According to a Beijing-based NGO dedicated to combating violence against women says that there are cases reported of insecure husbands, who are keeping their wives under surveillance.
I feel the cases are rising in countries like America, China and the UK as the women are brave enough to take a stand. In India, whenever a woman wants to make a decision, she first thinks about society, parents and children. Calling the police will be the last option.
According to The Guardian, in Hubei province, domestic violence has tripled down.
If you are reading this, please imagine:
Staying in fear with a person yet limited options to move away
Getting body-shamed and fat-shamed
Deliberate poking by family members to create trouble.
Abusing and criticising
Controlling by every means
A home which is the safest place to many but a few are trapped inside with an abuser.
As News18 shared contact numbers, hereby I have just copied and pasted here.
Here are some phone numbers that can help you:
Help Age India: 1800-180-1253
Dignity Foundation: 080 2654 2229
If you suspect that a child might be facing or witnessing abuse at home, call the police at 100 or Childline at 1098.
In this cruel society, one can always be a victim, the society wants the girl to understand and keep their mouth shut to show regards when the in-laws fat-shame, pass brutal comments about features and looks, above all they won’t even spare the parents of the girl.
They love to criticize the girl in front of her husband and family members despite rectifying their own shortcomings.
Alia and Ranbir married each other, both started a new and happy life but Ranbir’s mother always kept on body-shaming Alia and used to curse both of them.
Alia is a beautiful and chubby girl, she is very fair with flawless skin but she is on the heavier side despite being so beautiful, one demerit of her life gives her in-laws a chance to despise her.
Alia often gets upset and this is nothing new, even before her marriage her mother-in-law made fun of her:
She kept on asking her son “What did you see in her”?
Ranbir always listened to his silently because whenever he tried to support his wife, it made things more difficult and the discussion turned into an argument.
Their behaviour was very irritating and it was difficult for Alia to accept this criticism. She got frustrated and started to get depressed.
She wanted to say to her mother-in-law that in-spite of hurting others she should invest time for her family’s betterment.
The society wants the girl to let go of all this criticism, teasing, mental harassment, demeaning statements but it’s actually not as easy:
It shakes the confidence
One gets demotivated
This leads to depression and it can be dangerous.
People don’t forget criticism or this kind of comments easily. According to experts, it takes years to let go of such comments.
Alia’s in-laws are a real example that Indian society can never come out of it. Though many families have learnt to respect and treat their daughter-in-law as their own daughters, the majority love to humiliate and offend.
Many girls and women commit suicide because of being body shamed and criticised by society, family and friends.
Every day her in-laws criticised her, by talking about her attributes, body, commenting on her parents.
Alia tried to forgive and forget as society demands from an ideal Indian wife and daughter-in-law. They kept on taunting her on everything possible. Even if Ranbir makes any mistake or fights with any family member they eventually blamed Alia.
Even after three years of marriage, nothing’s changed. During a festival, the entire family gathered to stay together where the mother & daughter kept taunting Alia, on the second day while they were commenting on her, she ultimately lost her temper and protested. Seeing her hitting back her in-laws were taken aback and they upped their vitriol. This let to a major verbal escalation and the entire family got dragged into it. Seeing her wife being flanked, Ranbir started supporting her wife. This led to a situation of Pandora’s box being opened up and every other issue started churning.
The end of this fight was not in sight. Ranbir, seeing this is never gonna end turned to his wife and parents to stop this. To this, Alia expressed her deep displeasure that she has been tolerating this pain for a long while now and again a fight ensued between Ranbir and Alia. Seeing the tides changing his mother and sister started taking Ranbir’s side, giving him the sense that this is going a different trajectory. Now, he was literally irritated and wanted this to stop at once, and in that heat slapped his wife.
Alia ran towards her room weeping profusely. She locked her room and kept on weeping. The agony, the pain, the disdain, the contempt, was overwhelming for her. She couldn’t take this anymore and thoughts started coming into her mind. It’s like all of those incidents were taking a rewind, converting her anger into revenge.
As usual, her alarm bell rang sharply at 6 a.m. waking her up from her thoughts, long before any family member does. She started her daily household chores and in the afternoon she went to the market to buy groceries as usual, the thought of revenge not yet faded.
She went straight to a store to buy insecticides tucked it deeply in her pants safely and went straight towards home.
She came back, her throat dry, she took a glass of water, her hands were shaking, went back to her room, looking constantly at the packet of insecticide.